Why am I Friend Zoned?
Heya, listen to this important tip that probably no one’s ever told you about the “Friend Zone”. First impression is key, my bro, first impression is much more key as your finance is in being a Boywonder. I am talking about making the right impression early on in your interactions with the opposite sex.
First impression is key, my bro, first impression is much more key as your finance is in being a Boywonder
Do it right, and you can increase the attraction between you two, big time. Get it wrong, and you’ll all but ruin any further chances with her. It still boils down to girls shit test, because the way I see it, they can’t help it but run these tests on us. You see, when you first meet her, she’s going to quickly put you into one of these 4 categories within the first few minutes:
- Long-term relationship material
- Short-term “affair” material
- Friend material
- Wuss (olodo, ode, mumu) material
The reality is this:
You have one shot to get into the first 2 categories in the first few minutes of your interaction. Make the wrong move early on, and you my friend are zoned already.
Categories #3 and #4 are full of men who don’t have the slightest clue how to pass her minefield of tests. THAT’S why they get friend-zoned right away. So how do you approach her? Simply, with a clear head, and open mind, but keep your heart in the cooler. Or better still forget it at home, just don’t go with your heart yet.
Meet her with the intention to build rapport and gain an acquaintance, from which you can transcend it to whatever level you decide. Which should be in either of those two categories of hers.
However, often times no matter how prepared you are or what you do, the friend zone might just seem inevitable. In such a situation, this is how you avoid it;
Make Your Intentions Clear
From day one, you have to be sure of what you want with the lady, even before you approach her. Be prepared, and make up your mind. Then next is to make your intentions clear. Being clear doesn’t mean you have to be blunt or blurt out “I want you as my girlfriend” all at once. Don’t do that once you approach her, but you can build that perception in as you guys interact over a short time frame like in a couple of weeks. Rather than say, “can we hang out sometime?” say “I would love to take you out to BMX or someplace you will like, are you free weekends”. With this, the signal is stronger that you are looking to engage her in a relationship rather than friends.
Don’t Try Too Hard
You might say to yourself that you are just going to be nice, you are the good man that “every” woman should die for. Hence you decide you are just going to stick around her and be friends and see how it goes. Stop it, once you guys get friendly and begin to flow or hang out, don’t begin to do things for her that only a boyfriend would do. Such as buying things for her for whatever justifying reason, or letting her engage you in mindless texting and chatters… guess what? You my friend are zoned.
Both friendships and romantic relationships are reciprocal; if a girl likes you as a friend or as a potential romantic partner she will do the same things for you that you do for her. Try not to settle for less than you deserve in a relationship, any relationship. Why? If it is lopsided (one side only), and you are this only one participating, she would give you no respect and you’re dead in the water.
Rejection Can Happen, Accept It
Here’s a likely occurrence; once you are in the friend zone, you probably won’t be able to build a friendship into a romantic relationship. It is known that a lot of men are afraid of rejection. So to keep things “cool” and “stick” around that charming damsel, the ‘eye’ of the horde, the akwaeke, they simply do not ask the girl out and instead become a buddy. Ouuch! Some miserable, groveling and anxious buddy.
Being thrown out from the friend zone can be harder than getting shut out entirely, you rationalize. You might reason that the sham friendship you have with her is still a “-ship” in the “relating-“sort of. That you have more to lose than if you were asking out a stranger. You feel that by avoiding making your intentions clear, that some ‘blessed day’ all the attentions you’ve given her will be reciprocated straight-up into a relationship. Oh mai gawd! Never. Even in the movies, that doesn’t happen (just saying).
This is what you do; ask her out. She either says a “yes” or a “no”. If she says “yes”, you win. And if she says “no”, guess what? You still WIN, because at that very moment you have been ushered the opportunity to stop wasting your time and resources on someone who is not interested. Being clear is a skill you learn, being afraid on the other hand, isn’t.